A bad day turns worse

It’s been a very bad day. To cut a long story short, my husband and I have realised we can not continue to live in this house with my father-in-law, certainly not without a firm exit date and strategy anyway.

In brief, my FIL went back on an agreement we had made about the living arrangements in the house. This is typical of his attitude, which is one of saying this is our home (as a group), but using his actions to show he sees it very much as `his house’.

Of course, it is his house (of course we recognise that), but he is now physically and mentally incapable of living here on his own. So if we go, so will he … most likely to a nursing home. This is not what he wants or what we want, but what can we do?

I know he wants everything to remain the same as it was (he’s lived here for most of his life), but the reality is that it can’t and we can no longer keep our lives on hold to stay here with him, especially when we feel so disrespected by his attitude and actions.

It’s a shame for us too … living here has helped us change our financial situation, and we are moving back into a housing market that is at its peak. Rent and house prices are obscene right now.

But I’d rather rent a `crappy but happy’ home than live in one where my family isn’t comfortable and we don’t have a voice in what goes on.

It’s unfortunate but true. On the upside, we are at least going to see through our debt repayment schedule and ensure we move without borrowing for bond or moving costs. But then we’re out of here. Perhaps it is for the best.


  1. louise said

    It’s really hard living with parents, and especaily if he is not able to to fully look after himself independently. having dad live with us resulted in so much stress on our family. Putting in the nursing home was really hard but it has worked out really well for all of us.
    You have to take care of yourself first so do what ever feels right for you. good luck and don’t feel guilty about moving out.

  2. debtfretter said

    Thanks for your words of support Louise. It has been hard for a long time now. It seems like something may get worked out for the short term, and if that works, who knows. But I’m not holding my breath!
    Thanks again!

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